When is it right?

Good personal relationships can accent and compliment our personality and lifestyle like no other adventures in life can.

Having a companionship  that offer us the opportunity to explore life and our self can bring with them a personal satisfaction that we just don’t find in other aspects of our life. Especially important are our one on one relationships. 

Having a special someone to share our thoughts, feelings, and trust with, provides a closeness and confidence that is just not available from other relationships. Family, a best friend, a lover or one's spouse all fit into this category.

When you feel comfortable enough within a relationship to confide your deepest thoughts, feelings, and fears to the other person then you know that your relationship has the potential to be a lasting one. Relationships are built on trust.

Being able to have total trust in the fact that the other partner in your relationship accepts you for who and what you are is very important in being able to maintain a close bond with that person. The closer your bond with another person than the more give and take that will be likely to occur within the communications with that person.

Within our closest relationships we naturally want to insure that they want the relationship to continue onward as much as we do. Compromise and sharing are an all important part of bonding with another person. This creates the trust, loyalty, and respect that are the foundation of a friendship.
Soul mates walk a common pathway - Love is:

A feeling of devotion for another.
A deep caring or concern for another.
A sense of companionship with another.
A sense of shared values experiences and beliefs.
Affection based on admiration or sexual attraction.

As a relationship progresses there is a tendency for each partner to mold their behavior and personality to be more alike that of their counterpart. This is a naturally occurring event and should not be one that is requested or required from either participant in order for the relationship to continue. Within the relationship we should be able to form a unified bonding while still being able to enjoy our secular individuality.

We should be able to maintain a high degree of comfortable confidence in being accepted by the other person within the relationship. This close friendship exists because the partnership is beneficial (complimentary) to both members of it. There should be a closeness and trust in the relationship that does not exist elsewhere. You should feel comfortable not only being an equal member of this union but also in simply being yourself.

So what are the signs that you may be uncomfortable with your partner? Only you can pinpoint and recognize these. Every relationship is different so there are no clearly drawn out guidelines as to whether or not your relationship is positive for you or negative.

Every partnership has distinct levels of give and take and each relationship may vary in the degree of give that is required from either partner. However, when you are required to give more than you are willing to then it is highly likely that you will in time begin to feel even more uncomfortable and dissatisfied with your place in the relationship.

If you often find yourself saying the opposite of what you are  thinking, or frequently wind up doing things that you do not particularly enjoy doing, then your partnership may not be as close a one as you might have hoped for. The disharmony may be an indication that this union is not that beneficial for you to continue on with.

In any close relationship it is important to trust in the fact that your partner respects the many aspects of your personality almost as much as they do their own. You should have the freedom to discuss with your partner the issues that are causing problems within your relationship so that these areas of concern can be worked on and resolved.

Every relationship has issues and a long term one will indeed have many. Disagreements are not a sign that you are not right for each other or that you do not love each other. It is when the disagreements cannot be successfully resolved that problems arise. Love is a give and take relationship.

We learned in Kindergarten how to get along with others in our world. These learned principles included: Being polite, allowing each person to have a turn speaking or playing, sharing, having respect for each others feelings, being patient, and most importantly being accepting of the differences between our self and others. These basic principles are doubly important in the close relationships that we form as adults. If your partner is unable to provide you with a tolerable level of acceptance and respect then this may not be the person you should be involved with.

Yes, you can still argue and debate. Communication is important and often couples resolve their issues a little more loudly than they do with their friends or acquaintances. The point is that you are able to resolve these issues to the mutual benefit of both partners.

If you feel that you are giving more of your personal self than it is acceptable for you to give and if you cannot satisfactorily discuss the issues that cause this imbalance then you are likely seeing some pretty obvious signs that you are in a relationship that may not be the right one for you. Only you can decide where you go from there. A true love is a deep friendship between two people. It can and should be treated as such.

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