Jealousy the Monster in the Closet

I try to keep my monsters locked in the closet and out of trouble but every now and then one or more of them manage to sneak out.

Some nights listening to them gnaw at the door I just give up and open the door to let them all come out to play. The next day they always seem a little more appeased as I tuck them one by one back into the closet where they spend the next week or two sleeping off their drunken debauchery.

Tonight I can hear the old green eyed beast trying to fight its way out from the back of the closet. I had heard him rumbling unhappily a couple days ago but I kind of figured he would settle down a little if I just left him alone. Nope. He has just spent his time stewing over things and growing more and more annoyed with his lot in life. Now he wants out.

The door shakes as he pushes against it testing its security. He growls low in his throat and I know that it is only a matter of time before he figures a way out. I am thinking that maybe I should just give up, open the door and get it over with, but that isn’t an option that I want to have happen. The monsters can get into so much trouble when they are out and I really don’t want to allow them to escape if I don’t have to.

Of course the old green eyed monster has to be one of the worst ones too. He never travels alone. He always brings his gang of imps out with him and the pack of them wreak havoc in my world till I somehow manage to knock their leader back into a submissive state again. It can be horribly embarrassing not to mention dangerous. He is one of the most difficult beasts to control. He’s cost me the loss of a couple relationships and at one point almost cost me my job. That monster is bad news.

He screeches behind the door begging to be let out as I try harder to ignore his insistent pleas. He is nothing but pure trouble.

The phone rings and I get up to answer it. It is Andrew on the line and his timing couldn’t be worse. The monster is banging its battle thirsty body against the closet door and I am torn as to what I should do.

Should I let the beast out so it will maybe not break the door and bring out with it the remainder of the horde from the closet or should I hang up on Andrew and give myself time to reinforce the door.

The wooden door creaks under the stress, groans loudly, then cracks and falls. The monsters are free. Time seems to stand still in moments like this. You know that time is passing but it is difficult to measure the length of it. I hear the hissing and screaming, see talons flashing, and hear teeth gnashing.

It seems to last forever but for all that I know it may only last but just a few minutes. Then it is over. There is silence in the room and silence on the line. I whisper “hello” but there is no reply. Andrew has hang up.

I glare angrily at the green eyed beast and he looks sheepishly back at me. Then he turns around and quietly slinks back into the closet. His partners in crime silently follow. I know that it is too late to change what has happened today so for now things will have to stay as they are. I go to the fridge, take out a beer then sit back down at the table to mull things over.

I have made up my mind that tomorrow is the day that I go downtown to buy a deadbolt. I’ve put it off for far too long and enough is enough. There comes a time when you have to accept the fact that your monsters have gotten too big to control. It is time to lock them up or let them go.
When a person has successfully managed to find something as wonderful as love they naturally do not want to lose it. Even a suspected loss of what they hold most dear can cut deeply and trigger a strong emotional response. This is why jealousy is something that most people will experience at some point in their lifetime. 

Jealousy is an emotion that contains a number of deep undertones. Alike love it varies in its intensity and intention. 

Fear, anxiety, insecurity, sadness, disgust and anger are emotions that can occur within the realms of jealousy. These emotions can display themselves in expressions of insecurity, withdrawal, depression, moodiness, or anger. 

It is natural in relationships to experience a series of high as well as low points. Through these trials we assume that our partner will remain by our side. Loyalty and trust are key qualities within a lasting love.

Unfortunately it is often during the low periods that insecurities can be more likely to arise. A partner may need extra assurance of love to help prevent insecurity from rearing its emotional head.

Taking time to show your partner how valuable they are to you can be the altering difference in how a relationship will evolve as it moves forward.

It is your relationship and it is you who must decide how to work with the emotions that exist within it. Jealousy is a very normal human emotion but it is the degree of this emotion's intensity which is the key to its acceptability within the relationship.

Irresistible Urges

You sleep so quiet
So peaceful
so sweet
I have no idea
why I have this crazy desire
To sniff your feet.

I'm not weird
not mentally ill,
not abnormal in any other way
except this irresistible urge
To harass you while you sleep.

I would like to put my finger in your ear
or tickle your toes
paint a big black mustache
under your nose.

I would love to braid your chest hair
Paint a face on your bum
Shave your underarms
wake you up and make love.

I want to lie a feather
under your nose
to make you sneeze
dust you with baby powder
until you wheeze.

It isn't my fault
I've tried
I can't stop
You just look so sweet
and peaceful when you sleep.

I want to bathe you in wet kisses
tickle the ends of your toes
Paint your fingernails
Put a ring through your nose.

It's something I just can't control
You drive me insane
Softly snoring
while I lay here awake.

These uncontrollable feelings
To shake you awake
Just to tell you I love you
in every imaginable way.
By Lorelei Cohen

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