Is Jealousy Good or Bad

Relationships held together with fondness, consideration, and sharing will also at some point experience the flip side of these positive emotions. This is normal in love.

When people care deeply they can also be hurt very deeply so feelings of insecurity, jealousy, and anger also have the opportunity to emerge within this union. Relationships are woven together with strong emotions so there are times that it can be difficult to tell when these sentiments have crossed over the boundaries of acceptability. Facing a jealousy problem can be frustrating.

Couples work issues out through discussion and yes sometimes these get emotional. Raised voices and arguments happen. So how do you know when the person that you love has stepped over an acceptable boundary? It can sometimes be difficult to tell when love has gone beyond honourable intentions and stepped into the realms of that all powerful arena of obsessive jealousy.

Generally viewed as a negative emotion jealousy formed within love carries with it an immense fear of losing what is desired so intensely. An event sparks a perceived threat to our relationship and whether this threat is real or imagined we then experience a barrage of extreme emotions in response to it.

Fear, anxiety, insecurity, sadness, disgust and anger are all emotions that get tangled up in the immediate situation. Fear and anxiety that we are losing what we enjoy and treasure so greatly. Insecurity and sadness in the fact that we will then have to exist without this wonderful feeling of love within our life. Disgust and anger that it could be so easily lost or stolen from us.

Is it jealousy, insecurity, or just plain spite? A partner may be jealous if he (she) questions your activities more than usual, questions your friends motives more than in the past, or is easily saddened or angered when you are participating in events that they are not a part of. 

Jealousy can consist of a number of emotions and will display itself in many ways making it sometimes difficult to recognize the warning signs. Sometimes the cues are obvious and the person states outright that he is angry or afraid of events which feel threatening to him. At other times jealousy is not so easy to recognize. 

A partner may withdraw emotionally or physically from the relationship in preparation for its perceived ending. If he (she) is unusually moody or depressed these could be signals of a feeling of insecurity within the union. As they become increasingly afraid of losing the relationship these emotions can deepen and it will become easier to recognize the signs and symptoms that accompany the jealousy.

Strangely it is important to note that jealousy can at times be of benefit to a relationship. Yes, this is unbelievable but true. Fear of losing something dear can cause us to work more diligently to hold onto it. Virtually any time that people work in a positive manner toward building and maintaining a healthy relationship this is a good thing. If it is jealousy that evokes this healthy change then the jealousy can indeed a good thing.

Unfortunately it is generally the negative side of jealousy that we most often see. Anger, fear, and insecurity used to the extreme in a manner that is hurtful to the other partner.

Rather than jealousy being a positive force in repairing the small fractures in a relationship it too often serves to create further hurtful emotions. This then tends to add increased obstacles within the relationship for the couple to overcome. 

So is jealousy a good or a bad thing? It is your relationship and it is your choice as to whether you will use the signs of jealousy as something to help repair your relationship or to end it.

When jealousy displays itself in violence then it is an absolutely unacceptable emotion and must be dealt with as such. Emotional or physical abuse is never acceptable within a relationship. There is a line in every social partnership that is not acceptable for either partner to cross. If insecurity is displayed in extreme anger or in physical violence then it may be time to re-evaluate the relationship. It is time to either walk away or to seek professional counselling. 
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