Saying No to a Proposal
You have to reply but you are not quite sure how to say, "No, I don't want to get married." It is a question that you certainly didn't expect to hear asked quite so soon.
So what happens when you aren't ready to marry but the other person is and you suddenly find yourself being asked a question that you just did not want to hear?
If you are receiving a proposal of marriage from someone then it is most likely because you have been in a relationship with them that is enjoyable enough for the other person to want to take it up a step further.
This means that at the very least you are close friends with this significant other person and friends should discuss things honestly and openly with each other. A marriage proposal is simply a question from a friend asking if you are ready to move your relationship into a deeper level of commitment.
Unfortunately strong emotions can quickly move from one direction to another and feelings of hope and excitement can rapidly reverse to disappointment, hurt, and anger. A marriage proposal is a very emotional situation to be handled with diplomacy and tact. The proposal generally comes from someone you class as a friend.
Usually one or the other partner in a relationship does expect to have the question of marriage arise at some point within their relationship but every so often the proposal just comes a little too soon.
Perhaps you still want to pursue your career a little further so don’t feel that you have the time and dedication to truly offer into a full time relationship. Perhaps you are still not sure that this person is the one that you want to spend the rest of your life with or perhaps you are just not quite ready to head into marital bliss just yet.
Whatever your reason for needing to refuse this offer you have to come up with a tactful and honest way of saying no without offending your friend in the process.
It is a very deep honor to have another person offer to spend the rest of their life with you within the sacred vows of marriage. When the marriage proposal is offered it shows a caring and respect for you that merits a reciprocation of that respect.
It is very important to treat the question and your friend with the respect that they deserve. The refusal of a marriage proposal is a situation to be handled with diplomacy and tact. The emotions that come along with love are deep ones and it can be a very painful experience for someone to have their overtures of love refused. This is where discussing your feelings and theirs becomes very important.
So where do you go from here? The proposal may now be hanging in the air between you so it is important to put the relationship back into perspective. You are friends and although this new development is pretty major it is still just one issue among many that you will need to discuss within your relationship.
Allow and encourage the proposer to discuss their feelings as well as their reasons for asking at this point in time for your hand in marriage. Discussing the proposal honestly and openly with each other will make the refusal a more comfortable event. Moving forward within a relationship can occur at any point in the future but working at preserving a friendship is a constant.
If you are not currently ready to advance further in the relationship then say so, but say it with respect. By offering you a proposal of marriage this person has paid you one of the highest compliments that you will receive during your lifetime. Discuss your feelings and reasons for not accepting but also allow and encourage your friend to discuss their feelings and reasons. Honor this proposal and your friend with all the dignity and respect that this event deserves.
Marriage can be a beautifully frustrating place to be. It's not a perfect ideal and shouldn't be expected to be. Marriage is two people guarding each other against the emotional pitfalls of a sometimes topsy turvey world. Debating with each other over the little details of life, comforting each other when it is needed, and clinging to each other for strength when the world seems just too much to face alone.
Marriage is two people joined together through a solemn vow to stand beside, protect, and love one another through all things. It is playing together, crying together, being angry at one another, making love together, laughing together, and forgiving each other. Marriage is generally a lot more give than take, sacrifices made, and frustrations tucked into the closet to take out on a better day. A good marriage is often the result of a heck of a lot of hard work.
Sometimes the work involved in keeping a marriage alive just seems like too great of a sacrifice to make. Taking the easy way out starts looking pretty darn good so one or the other partner within the relationship will just give up and walk away.
Divorce rates are pretty scary with 41% to 50% of first marriages failing, 60% to 67% of second marriages ending in failure, and about 74% of third marriages ending in divorce.
Today it seems that giving up is almost the politically correct thing to do and sadly the majority of couples now do just walk away rather than taking the time and commitment needed to work things out. Divorce is now a fairly socially acceptable norm.
Feeling neglected and disrespected after an argument with the spouse it can feel like you have fallen out of love. Marriage like all things in life has its highs and lows. It is a major commitment. It is a promise of loyalty and trust that should never be entered into lightly. Loyalty takes courage and dedication. If you say yes to a marriage proposal then be prepared to hang on for the ride because it is going to be wild at times.
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